What is a Life Mate? FAQs

The high cost of living, the increasing incidence of social isolation, and the general goodness of sharing domestic joys and burdens is under attack by modern societal dynamics. Dr. Vaune devote’s her time and talents to helping people avail themselves of this domestic life option which has not been promoted by society in thousands of years.

The purpose of this website and Dr. Vaune’s relationship counseling and individual consulting work is to help develop and improve the life mate relationship in society.  That’s why she is know as a relationship conflict alchemist.

john lennon friends

Life mates can be spouses but they do not have to be spouses.  Dr. Vaune likes to say, “you don’t have to be a spouse to be a life mate, but you are a life mate if you are a spouse.”

Whether or not the creation of a genetically connected family is involved is up to the individuals involved and is not a necessary requirement of the relationship, though it is certainly not prohibited.

The foundation of a good life mate relationship is the foundation of any good friendship between two (or more) mentally and emotionally healthy people.  These people simply also partake of life enhancing domestic partnership. This is why individual self development is central to successful life partnership (and business partnership).  Dr. Carr offers both individual and life mate/couples relationship services on this site.  Her work is devoted to personal development, self improvement, self transformation education and support.  Her book, The Life Mate Questions,  is all about how to enter intelligently into a life mate relationship for best success.

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What does the term ‘life mate’ mean? 

A life mate is a person with whom another person shares a committed intention and desire, with or without formal agreement to experience daily domestic activities, meaning the activities of daily living (ADLs), financial, familial, social, recreational, etc. , and related responsibilities, for mutual benefit and enjoyment.  Usually, but not necessarily, this relationship also entails a sexual component, but this is not the bedrock of the relationship.  This is not a relationship status based upon sexual relations.  For example, best friends who chose to live together for long term, platonic devotion may also be considered life mates.  Siblings, cousins, extended family members, straight people, gay, people, etc. can chose to enter into life mate relationships.


What is the difference between a life mate and a spouse?

There are a few differences between a life mate and a spouse.  There are also many similarities between a life mate and a spouse.  As a matter of fact a spouse is only one example of a life mate.

A spouse enjoys certain legal rights that a non-spouse cannot.  Like certain inheritance rights and the like.  A spouse has sexual expectations tied to the relationship that a life mate relationship may, but might not, have.  Usually, a spouse is expected to become a child producer and parent, a life mate relationship may, but might not, include children.  A spouse has had to enter into a formal legal arrangement with the government and their partner.  A life mate does not have to do this (so far).  In most societies, a spouse has had to undergo some sort of civil or religious ceremony for the ‘sanctification’ of their relationship.  A life mate relationship does not have to do this.

Life mates and spouses are both expected to be loyal partners.  It is primarily the lack of sexual requirement that separates the two definitions and fundamental relationship expectations.

Life mates can be friends without having to be lovers.  Spouses must be both friend and lover.

Can there be more than two people in a life mate relationship? 



Does a life mate relationship have to be between a male and a female?  



Are there any scriptural prohibitions against life mates? 



Are there any laws against life mates?

No, at least not at this writing.  But, since this form of friendship is sensible and beneficial to humans, it is only a matter of time before opposition will present itself.


Do life mates have legal rights due to their association?

Not rights like spouses enjoy, and that’s fair.  Life mates are not ‘merging identities, as spouses are expected to do under the eyes of the law and society.  Life mates are just friends who live together (usually) and are devoted to one another, who help one another, who care for one another, and who share burdens of life.  You know, real friends.  Legally, a life mate may be provided for under any laws of of contract, for example, under probate laws, a life mate may be left property in a will, etc..  Another example of life mate legal rights is they may be made beneficiaries of insurance contracts, etc.


Is this concept associated with any gender and transgender issues?

No.  Your crotch status or personal identity has nothing to do with this concept of sharing life’s ups and downs.


Can siblings or cousins be life mates?



Do life mate relationships have interpersonal challenges like romantic relationships?

Yes and no.  Romantic relationships have (typically) more instances of deeply intense emotional traps than non-romantically connected relationships.  However, life mate relationships can be plagued by many of the usual problems of two (or more) people clashing with or ignoring the needs of the other(s) in ‘the relationship’, or other mundane relationship problems, like choosing where to live, or making major financial expenditures, etc. However, life mate relationships can be helped and sorted by standard counseling approaches, like any other relationship.

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